We Are Civilization
by Kachimoochi
Summary: An offshoot of the main story Civilization (I'll Stay Right Here), taking place in the Mass Effect universe, but under much different circumstances, Anaximander experiences the moments which made Civilization what it is today, narrated by myself, Kachimoochi
1. Our First Christmas Part I

We Are Civilization

By Kachimoochi

Chapter I

Our First Christmas

*NOTICE*: To preserve the privacy of the Creator of Civilization, he will be referred to as "Altair's Brother" until permission is otherwise acquired, thank you for reading, and enjoy.

\- Kachimoochi, Chronicler of Civilization.

I can recall with upmost warmness and joy, our first Christmas together, all of our desires had come to fruition mere months before, and the day had come to celebrate with one another.

Altair's Brother had made it clear that I reserved the right to chronicle our history, through the years leading to our creation, and the time to come. On Earth, specifically on a small, recently created country, I had been a writer and historian, as well as one of the first members of Civilization. We hadn't spared the time to hold a convention at Thanksgiving as we had originally intended, so we decided that Christmastime was the next best thing.

Earth seemed almost unrecognizable back then, compared to the urban wasteland that remains now, from a certain point of view.

For reasons unknown to most of us, much of the alien species throughout the galaxy would make journeys to the human home world in search of festivities and fun. I can remember seeing scores of Asari, Salarians, and even a Turian or two wandering around human cities, observing the intricate light shows hanging from our abodes, or perhaps enjoying our hard eggnog.

Despite all of our differences, this may have been the only time of the year in which we all stood together in harmony. Strangely enough, the festivities and celebrations even spread across the galaxy. On the Citadel, meant to be an amalgamation of every culture throughout the entire galaxy, always acquired a red and green façade around the Human solstice holiday, much to the chagrin of the Krogan and Quarian people.

Yes, for whatever reason, the Krogan and Quarians seemed to be the only beings in the galaxy which refused to partake in the human festivities.

Across the Citadel, old Christmas songs were sung by the AI's giving directions throughout the streets. Carolers in massive, competitive bands would walk from apartment complex to apartment complex, nearly coming to blows with one another to prove which sung better. And for reasons which still puzzles me to this day, the various aliens even adopted the persona of Father Christmas, and would give gifts to their children on the day of Christmas, even though only Humans celebrated the true holiday.

From the way I heard it, Anaximander and Nasir Robertson were equally in vivid anticipation for their first Christmas in Civilization, and were eagerly preparing to make it perfect.

Though none of this was relevant to the first Christmas of Civilization. Not only a festive holiday, but also a gathering of all the citizens of Civilization, all 7 of them.

On Christmas morning, in the western world of Earth, in one of the midwestern territories, Anaximander was frantically stirring a pot of sauce, while Nasir was racing all around Anaximander's house in search of oven mitts. The Asari-invented food integrators were still making their way to Earth, Humans still had to manually operate the creation of their meals, or at least on this occasion.

It was Anaximander's curse, one of many he was certain of. His family had been blessed with the creation of a masterful recipe to alfredo sauce, a sauce which fit any sort of pasta, never tasted too salty, and never overpowered one's taste buds with garlic, it was simply perfect.

"This is hopeless! How am I supposed to finish the sauce in time to make it for the party on Freedomain?" Anaximander complained, fiddling with his omni-tool, looking for the program which told him the time.

Nasir peeked his head out from a cabinet, still not locating the hand-protectors.

"Time works differently on Freedomain, remember? You add 4 hours, not subtract" Nasir reminded his absentminded friend.

"My life is much too complicated to manage by myself, if only I had some form of servant, somebody to order around and verbally abuse, perhaps with a British accent?" Anaximander muttered to himself as he sprinkled a handful of herbs and spices into the vanilla colored vat of pasta sauce.

Nasir simply rolled his eyes as he reached his arm behind the food preserver, a sort of Salarian-designed refrigerator, only to his amazement, he located the oven mitts.

"Can I ask why you still have a house on Earth? I thought you said once that you'd rather swallow a concoction of vomit from every species than ever set food on this accursed planet once more" Nasir inquired, wiping an unknown slimy substance which caked the inside of the mittens.

"I don't know, why do people have remote cabins in the middle of the woods that they only visit once a year? Posterity or something" Anaximander responded, producing a ladle which to taste his sauce.

Nasir rolled his eyes once more and returned to scooping our black sludge from the mittens.

"Besides, I needed to extort the pasta recipe from my parents, you know my mother keeps all of our recipes under lock and key, especially around me" Anaximander added.

"Whatever happened to you swearing to never speak to human women again?" Nasir teased, now visibly disgusted from cleaning the slime.

"Just you wait until you taste this sauce, it'll make such tribulations trivial in comparison" Anaximander said, closing his eyes in pleasure, just having tasted a spoonful of the flavorful sauce.

Having cleared the mitts of enough slime, Nasir felt comfortable placing his hands within said protectors, and venturing to the nearby oven to retrieve his masterpiece in tandem with Anaximander.

The dark, heated depths of the futuristic oven bore a pallet of circular, earthy-colored circles, exactly 2 inches apart and above the next, as measured by Nasir himself. The pallet was steaming, though each of the men was entranced by the beloved stench of the delicacies produced. It was so appealing, it drew Anaximander's attention from his familial legacy sauce, if only for a moment.

"Your sauce can't compete for even a second against my award-winning carrot-cake cookies." Nasir boasted, after taking an intoxicating waft of the pastries himself.

"Yeah yeah, just hurry up and load those cookies into the temp case, my sauce is almost done anyhow" Anaximander retorted, escaping the seductive scent to focus on his masterpiece.

Nasir, obeying his close friend, placed the cookies into a compartment in a large, translucent container. It was called a temp case, as any food placed into it would retain the same temperature as it was when it was placed inside. Again, an import from Salarian tech companies.

Many advancements in Earth technology was actually delivered by the hands, err…feelers of the Salarians, though most Humans wouldn't admit it.

Anaximander and Nasir included.

"So how are we getting there? From here to Freedomain I mean" Nasir asked, scraping a few crispy cookies off the pallet with a spatula.

Anaximander was too focused on carefully pouring his sauce into an empty compartment in the temp case, resulting in Nasir asking once more in a slightly louder tone.

"Sorry, this thing is extremely volatile"

"What is it made of plutonium or something?"

Anaximander's eyes shot towards Nasir's in a panic, before realizing the statement was a joke, and he then began to chuckle awkwardly.

"Heh…heh heh… uh… no of course not… that would be ridiculous" Anaximander answered dubiously, though not doing much to dissuade Nasir's original question.

Nasir simply gave his pal a puzzled look, before repeating his questing once more, for a third time.

"We'll have to take your Lightning Scorpion" Anaximander finally answered, sucking his finger of a singular drop of the sauce.

"Aw come on! Can't we take the Futura, I've never even been in it, I wasn't to see how she handles" Nasir whined, curious as to the nature of Anaximander's secret treasure.

Nasir closed the temp case after checking that the temperature gauges were stable, and gazed into his friend's eyes with upmost seriousness.

"Nasir, I don't think you understand, the Lincoln Futura is my baby, your lucky I even allow you to gaze upon it, there shall be no situation which there is even a remote possibility of harm that I shall allow my baby to partake in, and that is final" Anaximander finished, still staring his pal dead in his eyes.

Nasir immediately understood Anaximander's sincerity, as he had never seen such a protective look in his friend's eyes, nor such a threatening gaze. Agreeing to drop the desire, at least for the time being, Nasir activated his omni-tool and summoned a traveling pod to travel them to the Lighting Scorpion.

"You do know that your GECK can repair any damage to the Futura, right? I mean, I thought that was the entire purpose of Civilization, we can do anything our minds can imagine without any consequences to ourselves or others?" Nasir excused, while remotely piloting the pod.

"A parent could let their child swim with a shark too, and if it were bitten, a nice bionic arm could be waiting for them, I guess it's the same thing, eh?" Anaximander replied, sarcastically, but playfully.

Nasir rolled his eyes once more, starting to feel tension and pain in his optical nerves, and the two watched as the travel pod to the Lightning Scorpion arrived in front of Anaximander's Earth house. It was shaped like an unassuming travel pod which came with most commercial mining or trading vessels, disguised by Nasir himself, so as not to draw attention to Civilization.

It wasn't time to make their debut, but the time was coming soon, Anaximander and Nasir knew it.

"So, who's all coming?" Nasir asked, grabbing one end of the temp case alongside his pal to place it into the storage trunk.

"Everybody, we're only seven members strong you know, just imagine what the party will look like next year" Anaximander replied, sparkles in his eyes at the thought of the future.

The two loaded their delicacies into the trunk of the vessel, and each took their respective seats, with Nasir piloting. As they began to leave the atmosphere of their home world, they could only look back in disgust. Earth didn't look like they remember it looking, they remembered green continents and vast blue seas, only to find grey continents, and the vast seas obscured by fog.

This wasn't necessarily due to pollution or deforestation, just the progress of a species. Neither of the men faulted Humanity for it either, this was just another chapter in their history. Maybe they gazed at the grey sphere imagining what they had gained, what they had graduated to. They both owned a solar system, a universe. Nasir owned a similar futuristic city planet, while Anaximander opted for a more natural planet, either way, their wishes had come true.

How many Humans could say that? That all of their wishes came true.

Nasir and Anaximander returned their attention to their own devices, they had left their home world with the intention of never looking back. The world hadn't mistreated them as much as it had others, yet they felt no love for it, no attraction, no attachment. They had graduated to a higher plane of existence. It wasn't a plane that they understood, and one that appeared boundless, but it was different, it was an adventure, and that was all they cared about.

Anaximander took control of his GECK, after allowing Nasir to pilot, and began to put in the PIN for Freedomain. He hadn't visited his friend Altair in some time, and his brothers even less so. Each of the seven men had nearly secluded themselves in their own galaxies, building homes, building planets, artificial life, transportation devices, machines which both fulfilled their fantasies and even broke the laws of nature and physics. Where they went, it was all possible.

The PIN and destination were all set for travel, the two gentlemen needed only wait for the pod they were traveling in to make it to Nasir's personal flagship, The Lightning Scorpion. A vessel unassuming in the Sol Galaxy, but more of a home than Nasir have ever had.

The pod found its place in the cargo bay, allowing the gentlemen to depart side by side, still carrying their respective masterpieces in the temperature-controlled container. They brought it with them to the bridge of the Lightning Scorpion, as Nasir once again assumed control of his ship, while Anaximander sat himself in the co-pilot seat, carrying the temp case as still as he could muster.

It was at this point, with the coordinates being launched, and Anaximander's GECK traveling space and time to get to its destination, that Nasir took a look at his pal, only to find that himself surprised at what he had failed to notice previously.

"That may just be the ugliest Christmas sweater I've ever seen" Nasir said.

"I seem to recall Altair's brother saying that all Civilization guests were required to wear ugly Christmas sweaters to the party"

"Yeah, but yours takes it to a whole other level, I mean, just how?" Nasir exclaimed pointing to Anaximander's sweater.

The sweater Anaximander wore, had, as far as he himself was concerned, was scientifically the ugliest Christmas sweater in existence. The red based sweater was bordered in an uneven zig-zag design, featuring miniature yarn tassels masquerading as pine needles. Within the center, lay a comically horrible model of Blasto, the intergalactic super-cop, saying "This one wishes you a Mary Christmas" within a thought bubble, obviously misspelling merry.

"Oh please, it's an eyesore compared to the abomination lining your flesh" Anaximander retorted, pointing to Nasir's chosen sweater for the occasion.

Nasir, the blindly obedient Nintendo fan, self-proclaimed, chose to model his sweater with his obsession of choice. It was a blue sweater lined with Varren pelts, in the design of a wall of bricks, within its center featuring the titular Nintendo mascot, Mario, personified in this case as a child-like Turian boy. The boy was jumping off of a mushroom with a look of glee upon his face, with a text bubble coming from his mouth, displaying a line of text in the Turian language.

"What is that supposed to say anyways?" Anaximander quivered.

"Uh…I don't know, Mary Christmas?" Nasir guessed.

"Liar, that's what's written on my shirt, and besides, Turians don't celebrate Christmas"

"Don't our Omni-Tools have translators?" Nasir horribly defended.

"Yeah, they translate text and speech, not unintelligible yarn pattering!" Anaximander exhaustedly shouted.

"Huh…well that proves it!" Nasir finally shouted, after contemplating for a moment.

"Proves what?"

"My sweater must be the worst, after all, you can't even read it!" Nasir shouted once more, guffawing with glee.

"Let's save it for the competition, Lord knows you'll need all the luck you can get" Anaximander said, finalizing the discussion.

"Touché" Nasir, muttered under his breath.

The Lightning Scorpion was then suddenly jerked into a vortex of spinning blue spirals. They were being transported between space and time, into a universe, a galaxy far away, but not so far away now.

When the spiral ended, and the blue faded, what remained was a large black space, with stars littering such space, and a collection of planets in a perfect circle around a singular sun. What lay in first place was a large blue planet, littered with miniature green specs in between, islands. This was Altair's domain, his planet, Freedomain.

Altair of course, on his planet below, intercepted Nasir's flagship, placed it into a tractor beam, and gently set its course for a landing pad near his very own mansion.

As Anaximander and Nasir entered Freedomain, they were met with several interesting signs, any of which would be breathtaking to the average human, but they weren't as fazed as they used to be, when your imagination was the limit, one eventually became immune to surprises.

Much of the landscape, which in reality was a massive collection of islands, so massive, the only thing separating them were bridges and small rivers. Large Greco-Roman style buildings, with massive pillars and sculptures lined the environment as far as the eye could see. A.I. controlled robots, masquerading as Humans went about their daily lives as they would have thousands of years before, not paying any attention to the massive flagship being landed onto the ground below, in front of an especially massive mansion, with especially massive pillars, lined with especially massive sculptures.

The wonder and amazement had long since past on Nasir and Anaximander's faces, they were focused on Christmas, and Altair had told them to prepare for a surprise unlike any other.

The two could hardly hold their excitement.

To Be Continued…


	2. Our First Christmas Part II

We Are Civilization

By Kachimoochi

Chapter II

Our First Christmas: Part II

Though the Greek did not celebrate Christmas, neither the Romans for that matter, Freedomain was decked with much holly, whatever that meant.

When the Lightning Scorpion landed in a clearing, surrounded by palm trees and sand bars, the two gentlemen within the vessel were expecting a welcome wagon, do their disappointment, they received none. Wishing to know why they had received such an unwelcoming arrival; Anaximander used his Omni Tool to interrogate Altair for such a grievous transgression.

"Altair, you daft tadger! How in the hell do you expect us to carry all of our luggage from here to the mansion!?" Anaximander whined annoyingly.

"The rest of the guests arrived in flying cars and small vessels, not mining frigates! That was the only place with enough space to land Nasir's vessel. If you weren't so stingy with your Lincoln Futura, we wouldn't need to have this discussion, now would we?"

Anaximander, now regretting his affection towards his inanimate automobile, pounded his head against the Lightning Scorpion in three rapid successions. Nasir grabbed the wrist of his now collapsed friend and began to speak to Altair through it.

"Look, Altair, it's no trouble, it's just that we are carrying some extremely precious cargo, which cannot be adequately transported by the mere mortals you speak to now" Nasir said in his most eloquent English, while fanning Anaximander with a handkerchief in effort to regain his consciousness.

"Are you talking about Anaximander's pasta sauce and your carrot cake cookies?"

"Number one, both of those dishes are award winning, and number four or five, or whatever number we were on, I defy you to take a single bite of my mammy's cookies and tell me they aren't proof that God exists!" Nasir yelled defensively.

"Nasir, it isn't that I don't believe you, but there isn't any real way I can get to you, I fly wherever I want, but in a glider, not a frigate, but that being said, I think I do have an idea, but I don't think you're going to like it"

"What do you mean?"

"Just wait there a few more minutes, they shouldn't be much longer than that" Altair said as he deactivated his Omni Tool.

"But what do you…oh no!" Nasir cut himself off, as he noticed a massive trail of dirt smoke traveling swiftly in his direction.

What trailed some miles in front of him was a large trail of brown fog, no doubt the dirt remains from a vehicle moving at a rapid clip. It was if the ancient cartoon character of old, the Tasmanian Devil, had marked Nasir for impact, and was racing without abandon towards his position. Nasir knew what was heading his way, he was both grateful and dreadful, in totality, he only hoped his mammy's cookies would survive the encounter.

As a minute passed, the vessel approaching them made itself out quite clear. Soon afterward, the rumbling and roaring of an engine made itself louder and louder, as the outline of a car made itself clearer and clearer. Within mere seconds it was upon them, a black, stylish car, like in the olden days of Earth. The car didn't appear as it used to however, it retained the shape, but contained no doors, and the windows were matte black, concealing its occupants.

Not that it mattered, Nasir knew who lay within, as well as the now conscious Anaximander.

"Rock'n'roll baby!" A thin man yelled as he rose himself out of the driver's side window.

"Please don't yell so loudly!" A slightly larger man yelled in retaliation as he claimed out of the passenger window.

The two men, though differing slightly physically, were fraternal twins who shared between them a love of machinery, namely old Earth cars. It would them make itself evident that the two gentlemen were driving a stock car, as old-world sponsorship stickers adorn the chassis of their chosen vessel, as well as a white number three in the center of the sides.

Their names were Joey and Zac Lombardi, and they were the finest pilots and drivers of all of Humanity. And on this occasion, rescuers.

"Please tell me you two aren't here to rescue us" Anaximander whined, rubbing his eyes to make certain he was seeing correctly.

"Come on! This thing gets 700 horse power, it's the only way we'll be back in time for the ugly sweater contest, by the way, I think Anaximander wins" The larger Joey said confidently, as he pulled down his sunglasses to examine the pair's sweaters.

"Ugh! Very well then, but if there is a single blemish upon our sauce and cookies, I will ruin Christmas every year for the rest of my life in spite!" Anaximander settled, instructing the two racers to delicately load the precious cargo into the trunk of the car.

To the twin's credit, they did indeed drive swiftly, though carefully back to Altair's mansion, all the while arguing with Nasir as to whom had the ugliest sweater.

The speed of the stock car was indeed unmatched, as within the next ten minutes, all four gentlemen were in front of the massive Pantheon, which Altair called home, and the guest would call ground zero for the first Christmas party of Civilization.

Though seeming to be a recreation of a Greek castle, on the inside it was nothing of the sort. The entire interior seemed bigger that the outside of the mansion. Obviously the GECK of Civilization allowed the members to bend the laws of physics to their whim, thus none were surprised by such a spacious abode within a modest façade.

The inside of Altair's mansion was lit almost entirely with either fire light, or multicolored bulbs covering a massive pine tree in the center of the mansion. Lanterns and torches adorn the marble walls, illuminating various portraits and treasures, all of which symbolized ambience more than wealth, as after all, all Civilization men could form any amount of currency they pleased. As Nasir, Anaximander, and the Lombardi brothers descended the spiral staircase, or rather the Lombardi brothers sliding down the bannister, they were met with the mutual friends of Civilization.

In totality there were seven members of Civilization, or eight including myself. The Lombardi brothers, Nasir Robertson, Anaximander (Redacted), Soham, Altair, and Altair's brother, and Kachimoochi. Each of which met one another and caught up on each other's lives as the missing guests found their way to their compatriots.

However, Altair's brother was notably absent. He had called ahead and told that he was delayed unexpectedly, and would arrive as fast as he could. Though he was missed, Altair and Soham insisted that the Christmas party commence regardless.

Soham had made a metric ton of pasta, of every sort, which paired with Anaximander's pasta sauce, became a sensational meal for all. Nasir's carrot cake cookies didn't go unnoticed, as many a battle would be fought over mere crumbs from such decadent treats. There was other food during the Christmas feast, but just as Anaximander and Nasir had predicted, their dishes were the stars of the show.

The night would be followed by the exchanging of Christmas presents. As every member of Civilization possessed a technology to form whatever they desired into existence, Altair insisted that all of the gifts exchanged must be especially creative, with the recipients in mind, thus the convention of Secret Santa was observed, so as to alleviate the stress of probing the recipient's mind for a gift choice.

All of the members of Civilization had gathered under the massive pine tree in the center of the mansion, giddy expressions on everyone's face, wondering what their chosen Santa had gotten for them. It was an odd sight to behold, though all of these men either had, or had the means to have whatever it was that they wanted, they still expressed childlike glee at the prospect of receiving a secret gift. It was uniquely Human, in my opinion.

If my memory recalls correctly, from myself, Soham received an authentic ID model for a Victorian steam engine, that he could create as many times as he wanted. From his brother Joey, Zack Lombardi received a stock car racing helmet with some famous signature inscribed upon it, the likes of which I didn't pay much attention to. Altair gave to myself, a first edition of _With Fire and Sword_, it never ceased to amaze me how valuable authentic items from Earth's history were, contrasted to the items we could create on a whim.

I cannot in certainty recall what was exchanged between the members I left out, but what I can recall and shall not ever forget was the look of unmatched satisfaction plastered on all of our faces on that fateful night. It was indeed as magical as all of those cheesy Christmas films made it out to be, and it was a time for the ages.

It was after the immediate exchange was completed, that Altair announced that he possessed a unique gift for all of the members, another unexpected treat.

"Alright, alright! Everybody settle down" Altair merrily shouted, grabbing the attention of the entire party. "Gather round, I have a special present for you all, it's been ready for some time, but I wanted to give it to all of you at once"

Altair summoned a group of butlers, which descended the staircase from the upper floors of the mansion. In each of their arms was a golden and purple colored wooden box. There were 6 butlers and 6 boxes, each of which found their way to the Lombardi brothers, Nasir and Anaximander, Soham, and myself.

The said six looked at the boxes in a slight confusion, until Altair motioned for them to open the gifts, to which they all did with that reassurance.

They didn't quite know what to make of the contraptions they pulled out of the boxes. It appeared familiar in some way, but they couldn't quite put their fingers on it. It was like a plastic armband, containing a massive computer screen in its center, along with various oblong and awkwardly placed buttons upon the sides.

"Oh… Altair…you shouldn't have" Nasir awkwardly complimented.

"You don't know what it is, you wingnut!" Altair snapped back.  
The six looked back at Altair with an appearance of guilt and confusion, which was strange because they had all seen the contraption before, but couldn't remember from where.

"They're Pip-Boys!" Altair exclaimed, still not eliciting a response from the staring six.

"Y'know! From that vid game we played when we were kids…remember?" Altair tried once more.

The six, still not possessing an iota of a clue as to what the crazy man in front of them was talking about, simply shook their heads, stupefied.

"Och! Never Mind! Look, they're prototype replacements for your Omni-Tools, we're a sovereign entity now, we need proprietary hardware. That there device can do everything your tools can do and a heluva lot more" Altair explained, grabbing his little brother's wrist and fashioning it onto it, in a sort of demonstration.

"Um…not to seem ungrateful or anything…but our Omni-Tools are translucent…it's going to be kind of awkward dragging a 2-pound plastic computer watch on our lapels!" Anaximander complained, limply dragging his wrist in a pantomime.

Altair then marched to each of their wrists, which had all since affixed their Pip-Boys to their wrists, and pressed a single button on the side. And all at once, the massive wrist mounted computer turned invisible and weightless as their Omni-tools had.

"Satisfied?" Altair droned, disappointed by the lukewarm response to what he imagined would be the second greatest gift his friends had ever been given.

The next hour or so was spent with the six Civilization members fiddling and tinkering with their newfound Omni-Tool replacements, with Altair providing tech support to such tech illiterate cretins, in his own words.

The stupor was interrupted automatically and abruptly by a large slamming sound emanating from the top of the spiral staircase leading to the living room.

"Ho Ho Ho!" A jolly voice bellowed.

"What the hell is that?" Altair moaned curiously, walking towards the end of the staircase and turning his head upward in a futile attempt to see who had intruded in his beloved abode.

Before Altair could even maneuver his head, a figure jumped off of the banister at the top of the staircase. Though having just jumped off of a 100-foot abyss leading to the living room, the figure didn't plummet rapidly, rather he levitated onto the ground below, a purple hue emanating from his feet.

The figure landed softly in the center of the room, right in front of the massive Christmas tree. He looked almost exactly like his brothers. His fair skin was concealed beneath a piece of futuristic armor. It didn't appear to be made by any of the Sol Galaxy races, not even the most up to date Turian prototypes. The rest of his clothing consisted of comfortable robes cascading down his legs, white in color. On his neck, a color of blue lights snug itself tightly against his clavicle region, illuminating his face.

His hair was a lighter black than that of his brothers, lightening in addition to the greyish white sideburns he sported, thus cementing him as the eldest of all of the brothers. He is (REDACTED) and he was the man who created Civilization.

"Well it's about time!" His brothers said in unison.

"Yeah! You just missed me losing the ugly sweater contest" Nasir said dejectedly and childishly.

"Sorry all, I've been a bit busy capturing, I mean collecting my secret Santa present" Altair's Brother spoke, a slight raspyness in his voice, also showing his advanced age.

Anaximander, who had taken to using a fire-poker to roast marshmallows, quickly dropped his treat and rushed over to his mutual friend, and technical galactic emperor.

"It's for me, right? I'm the only one who didn't get a gift!" Anaximander exclaimed, finally able to accept his present.

"Right you are young Anaximander, I am your secret Santa, your gift is right behind you" Altair's brother quietly spoke with a smile upon his face, while pointing behind Anaximander.

Anaximander turned around, to what he thought was an empty lounge, which all occupants had left to greet the founder, yet it wasn't so. Without anyone having noticed, a large box, covered in blue wrapping paper and a red ribbon lay in the middle of the lounge, just where Anaximander had set down his roasted marshmallow.

"How did you do that?" Anaximander asked facetiously, knowing full well that Altair's brother was capable of feats incomprehensible to mere mortals like himself.

"Magic, of course, go on then, open it!" Altair's brother chuckled.

Anaximander sauntered cautiously back to his spot in the lounge where he had been sitting, the rest of the members in tow. He cautiously ripped apart the paper revealing a metallic grey object. It looked much like an egg shell, but made of a neon colored technology, lined with computer wires and chips.

Altair's brother stepped beside Anaximander and pressed a button concealed by a flap of metal, and the proverbial eggshell opened.

When the shell had been thoroughly disassembled before the men's eyes, a robotic figure stepped forward, its eye glowing a sharp neon green, it looked as if it had a piece of metallic macaroni for a head.

"It's a Geth?" Anaximander asked.

"Now, it's your Geth?" Altair's brother responded, a look of exhaustion and satisfaction upon his face.

The Geth moved its eye to scan Anaximander and began speaking in a language of numbers and ancient Quarian script. After a minute of scanning and reciting, the robot spoke to its new master in perfect English, with an American accent.

"Salutations Master, I will be your humble servant for the entirety of my programming's cycle, I eagerly await your command" The Geth spoke, as robotically and generically as all Geth Anaximander had met did.

Anaximander turned his attention to Altair's brother, momentarily ignoring his newest possession.

"Where did you get a Geth?" he asked.

"Let's just say it was the fruit of a tense negotiation, fear not, it is yours free and clear by permission of the Geth Enclave" Altair's brother assured, holding his hands up in a calming motion.

"Do you wish to choose a name for me Master?" The Geth spoke once more to its master.

"Eh…I don't know…" Anaximander said, looking to his friends for ideas.

"Ooh Ooh. Name him Igor!" Zach Lombardi shouted.

"No, that's unfitting, name him Thomas" Soham suggested.

"Hey! Name him after that monkey that killed humanity from that vid…uh…Octavius I think?" Nasir shouted over the crowd.

Altiar looked confused at Anaximander's friend, before correcting him. "His name was Caesar, not a bad choice I guess"

"Y'know, it was actually pronounced Kai-Sar in ancient Rome, you of all people should know that" Altair's brother lectured Altair, pointing to all of the obvious Roman architecture.

"Oh yeah, that's where Kaiser and Tsar come from…hmm…alright its settled…" Anaximander led off ominously.

The entire group closed in on the suited man, closer and closer, as if pressuring Anaximander to choose their suggestion.

"I'm naming him Igor!" Anaximander decided.

"NOOOOO!" the group yelled after him, save for Zach Lombardi of course.

"Just kidding" Anaximander squealed, laughing while holding his belly, "I'm naming him Kaisar"

Such a decision broke Zach Lombardi's heart, causing him to yell "NO!" while falling to his knees. Causing the rest of the group to take their turn to laugh at him.

In short, the remainder of the evening, and a good two- or three-days following was spent among good food, good gifts, and extraordinary friends.

This dear reader, from whichever universe you read this from, and from whatever form, was my finest recollection of the first Christmas of Civilization. It was a time of celebration and a time of togetherness. The next Christmas would indeed be bigger, containing a good 50% of the human population, and though equally monumental, none would compare to the first celebration of freedom shared by those fine individuals.

I only wish that you, who read this will one day experience the freedom that we now have, don't feel to bad if you can't, it may be closer than you think. And we may be too.


End file.
